GoGo on a Page

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Location: Midwest, United States

"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

The Question: a parody

Mother: Saw X at w*l-mart

In my home town W*l-mart seems to be the popular place to see people. Its not just my parents either. Friends will call me up and say, "Hey, I saw your parents at w*l-mart. I don’t promote the place, I’m just stating an observation.

GoGo: Yeah, how’s she doing?

Mother: Her partner and her are having a commitment ceremony.

Since I have left my home town, a good number of my friends have turned out to be queer, suspected queer, or divorcing someone who is queer. None of us mentioned even the idea we might be gay to one another while we were growing up. I suspect the high number of folks now coming out has something to do with the water.

GoGo: Wow! That’s wonderful.

I am very impressed my Mother knew the words partner and commitment ceremony.

Mother: [GoGo with a y], you know your father and I are very proud of you and love you very much.

GoGo: Thanks, Mom. That really means a lot for me to hear.

Mother: [GoGo with a y], can I ask you a question?

Does your mother have the power to turn your insides into jelly, and make you feel like your 3-year-old instantly, or turn a day full of great accomplishments into the most depressing day ever by asking you one simple question?

GoGo: Is this the question you have been banned to ever ask me, even if it had the potential to save the world from destruction? Is this the question that I promised I would tell you about if it were happening? Is this the question that ends with me running to the fridge and suckling my sorrow with too much food? Is this THAT question, Mom?

Mother: A simple ‘No’ would have sufficed.

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Friday, January 26, 2007

Sunday Scribblings: chron·i·cle (krŏn'ĭ-kəl)

This Sunday Scribbling was too fun. I didn't expect the word chronicles to do anything for me, but give me the heebeegeebees from scene flashes of "The Chronicles of Riddek" popping into my head. Yes, I watched the movie. What can I say, I enjoyed "Pitched Black". Oh, I digress. Anyway, I am looking forward to reading others responses to this prompt, which can be checked out here. ~GoGo
The Farewell Chronicles
By Gogo on a Page
Bystanders would later tell the newspapers that the sun gave off a pulse of light as though it were shedding its skin. The effect was a momentary halo, hovering around the sun, and then dispersed. Some would even report sightings of mysterious angelic forms floating in the sky, praising the day. None of these things were documented on film though, so the historical accounts in books were left solely to the facts.

The facts were simple but true enough to border on a miraculous celebration. The temperature that day was a balmy 88 degrees and the sky held a thin layer of cirrostratus clouds giving way to a naturally occuring halo effect. Reports indicate that the event was the most watched program in history. Globally, a billion people watched television that day, a day that would be nicknamed, “El día el diablo dejado el offce”. Though the exact number of viewers cannot be found, many reports indicate that on average every household with a television in the world hosted on average 5-6 additional people during the event.

Additional reports indicate that Washington DC had to close its borders to citizens trying to enter the city due to “homeland security”. Traffic reports indicate that the streets were so cluttered with vehicles that no movement was capable on the roads from a five mile radius outside the city. In fact, individuals were reported to leave their cars on the freeway choosing to walk into the Capitol. Due to this congestion of citizens entering the city, a high number of vehicle deliveries and home births were also reported, the Medical General’s Office reporting a 5.5 increase from normal home and vehicle birth rates. Those who did make it to the hospital to deliver reported going by foot. In fact, one report confirmed by a news broadcast, was a woman being surfed by the crowded sidewalk of people above their heads to the hospital. The woman told the news center that, “I needed to get there, so I had no choice but to jump into the crowd like I was at a concert. The miracle is that everyone caught me and started shouting, ‘she’s going to the hospital, she’s going to the hospital!’ Somehow, I made it to the hospital on top of the crowd and delivered a healthy baby.”

When former President Bush began his speech fifteen minutes past the hour, a low hum was heard on all the video feeds. Apparently, everyone in the whole city began to hum “Hit the Road, Jack” by Ray Charles together during his entire farewell speech. At the moment when it was finished, satellite reports at universities across the world reported a natural audio phenomena picked up on the feeds outside the earth's atmosphere. The Genius Book of World Records reported that this was the cheer to be heard around the world.


Wednesday, January 24, 2007

View from Home

Long night. Wednesday is my study night - for sure, without doubt. Friends flow in and out to partake in this informal study group I've created. Its nice to have company among the clutter of studying at the coffee shop. Tonight's task is Lit searches again, this time I am looking at policies relating to the aging driver. I can happily get lost in Lit searches. My eyes go blurry from all the information being fed to my brain. I am contented by the process.

I have so much to do this semester. Perhaps it's self-induced amnesia, but I don't remember this much piled on at once. Its everything. Add to it trying to get my check list done for London, contacting people, filling out forms, while simultaneously covering my a$$ regarding Licensure for this country too. I read an article today regarding the cost of living in London. Its crazy. I'm going to wind up with 20 roommates or living in a closet. I think my idea of having a kitchen to cook in is quickly dwindling to a hot plate. I keep telling myself, if I can at least boil water for the morning coffee, I'll be okay. :) Ah, but less space means fewer things which means less clutter.

I don't know what else to say at this moment in my life. I have much more years of living to do, so I figure its best not to get overwhelmed by the little things, though my messy bathroom and piles of clothes causes a little anxiety at the moment. I can feel the clutter creeping in. What am I saying?! It's here, baby, and its getting heavy around the corners! But, it will get done. The best gift from life is time, I'm not spending it stressing about it all. Everything will get done one task, one step, one thought, one moment at a time. As for writing, unless its school related its not happening at the moment. No that's not true, I get cracks of writing on the weekends, but since Monday I have been trying to write in my personal journal without time to do so. Perhaps tonight right before I go to bed, or in the morning before work. It all depends on my threshold of tired.

What am I trying to say? Why did I decide to type words on this page tonight? The things that interest me seem weird to post about like Lit searches and London dreams....oh and the school gives away the New York Times in the building I have classes on Tuesday, so I find myself getting up earlier to drink coffee and read the paper before class starts. These things feel good to me in my busy world. These things comfort me when I read bad news or wake up to President Bush still being our president. I'm busy. This statement is my thematic overview for my life in school, and yet, here I am enjoying every moment....knock on wood.

Yes, I know. Boringly happy.

Till next time ~GoGo

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Monday, January 22, 2007

morning commute


Sunday, January 21, 2007

Sunday Scribblings: Fantasy

Mmm. Fantasy.
My thoughts go down
night time roads,
cheeks raising high
from the smile
curling upwards
while my eye brows
purse provocative
with the enjoyment
of images that roll behind the eyes.


Oh, but I’m not going there here. And no one here, is going there in my written words.

Ah, but in the darken night, under sheets wrapped tight, there is another fantasy I think of that is Parentally Granted for this page. Sleep. Yes, its time for the maundered routine written on this page of sleep fantasies brewing in my fuzzy 3rd shifted head.

But all good fantasies have a root in reality. So imagine a long night turning into longer, whether from a night of working or playing, or if you’re a parent, the ending of the long days negotiating the little ones' lower center of gravity and the energy to use it.

Now imagine, that the time draws closer to putting on the pajama pants and rolling into bed. Imagination turns to the covers feeling nice and warm while the air around you rolls soft and sweet. Imagine the darkness of sleep pulling at your eyelids and the blankets suddenly become a cocoon wrapped around you, nurturing you from all things outside of that moment. That moment when the wakened mind succumbs to darkness and that black screen of unconsciousness turns on the stories brewed in your head. The walls begin to fill with plants growing upward and orange tangerine flowers burst out from their shells, popping with sparkler’d finesse. Imagine them growing stronger and taller breaking down all those walls, opening the dreamscape to full access.

Where does the mind take you when you finally sleep? Do dragons roam a purple sky or do crimson veils breathe the wind around you? Does your boss become a big powder puff that blows away by the sheer force of your goodbye? Does your child become your counterpart in play as you fly without wings in the sky? Do you even breech those fantastical lands that await the wakened imagination owning no limits, no physics' rules? I do. At that moment...at that purest moment when the worn body opens to the threshold of unconditional unconsciousness, I yield to all my fantasies of sleep.

Not my best ramble on the page, but I'm looking forward to sleeping.

Go here if you want to read more of this week's submissions to Sunday Scribblings.

And Good luck to Laini who is at ALA this weekend.

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Tonight in the Art Gallery

Thanks to Paris Parfait, I am honored to pass along another good artist out there, Taos Pueblo Fine Art. Check out his site. Good luck on this new journey.


meme squared

Good twilight,

I have two memes to address tonight. Beansprout sent me the first one and Ruminating in the Roses sent me the second one. I am suppose to tag folks, but am going to say anyone who wants to can consider themselves tagged.

Meme 1
This is how it works:
1. Find the nearest book.
2. Name the book & the author.
3. Turn to page 123.
4. Go to the fifth sentence on the page.
5. Copy out the next three sentences and post to your blog.

Richard, H. (2006). Advocacy Practice for Social Justice. Lyceum Books; Chicago: IL.
"The degree of content detail you can put into your presentation (whether in-person, on the telephone, or in a written manner) will vary in strict correlation with the amount of time you have to present. In a meeting of five or more minutes, you can probably do a thorough job if you are well prepared. However, in a very brief meeting (going up three floors in an elevator, for example), you may have only one or two sentences for each of these points or you may have to combine important points in one sentence" (Hoefer, 2006, p.123)

First thought when I read this - Are you serious. Interpretation of text: The amount of detail you put into a presentation varies depending on the time you have to present. My second thought - I really have to read this for class? Excuse me, I have to practice my elevator presentation skills.

Meme 2
1. If you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be?
At this moment, not reading dry and what I believe to be self-evident books for class. Just not reading them and B.S.ing my way through the discussion part of class. Okay, I’m going to do that anyway.
2. If you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be?
I always feel like questions like this are hard. My end result I’d want is world peace, harmony, etc. So, I guess what I would change are the precepts of one God and mine’s better of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam.
3. Name the cartoon character you identify with the most.
Calvin from Calvin & Hobbs. That or a mix of Bucky Katt and Satchel Pooch.
4. If you could live one day in your life over again which one would it be?
I haven’t had that day yet, though there have been many days that I love very much.
5. If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be?
This is too hard. One?! Empress Wu. You should check her out.
6. What is the one thing you lost, sold or threw away that you wish you could have back?
My red bike if you mean by lost it was stolen. If not, then there is really nothing missing.
7. What is your one most important contribution to this world?
Uh...um...I’m a cool big sister and aunt. No pressure with this question, aye.
8. What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about?
I’m a fantastic shower singer. Tehe. Everybody already knows I can read palms.
9. What is your most cherished possession?
My journals.
10. What one person influenced your life the most when growing up? My grandmother.
11. What one word describes you better than any other?
I totally cheated, didn't I.

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Post Number 315

Sitting at the coffee shop drinking chai tea and quickly loosing my attention span for my policy class and the readings on practice advocacy. It’s a pertinent topic. It reflects the idealism and doer attitude I have, and yet I’m kind of done reading about the topic. This program I am in is most definitely circular in educating. I’ve read this before, with different words. I’ve been on this page by another author. I’m done for the night.

My thoughts go instead to tinkering with words, letting them mix and mesh. When and where can I use the words isolated absolution? I have no idea how those two words got fused in my cerebellum, but now I want to incorporate them in a paper or something.

OR Can I write a poem about orange tangerines without sounding redundant? Seriously. I have the line “She was an orange tangerine…” Sounds like a song title, really.

My thoughts go toward a need to go to the grocery store tonight to pick up some ingredients I need for this Friendship bread I am making. Do you know about Friendship bread? It’s a yeasty substance passed from friend to friend. You follow this 10 day complication and then you split the yeast concoction into some you give away while the rest is made into your own loaf of bread. Now that I think about it, it’s a very friendly STD, without the sex. Did I mention the idea was created by the Amish? Hmm. What if my bread doesn’t rise, does it mean I am not a good friend? I actually love this idea and look forward to making the bread tomorrow night. I do hope the bread rises though.

My thoughts go and go and go. My thoughts go anywhere but where they should be, in the book doing a voice over narrative for the practice advocacy text I am reading. Hmm. Perhaps if my internal dialogue mimics a Welsh accent while reading?... Do I even know how to do a Welsh accent?

Good night,



Tuesday, January 16, 2007

stevie nicks

This was a fun find. I can just imagine the humid summer day and some random pedestrian walking by below while Stevie's voice filters out from the open window.

She's got a great voice.


Sunday, January 14, 2007

A Blessing in the Air

Cheeks feeling tired from another night, my book bag dangles from my shoulder, I’m about to go home. Finishing conversations and inside jokes with coworkers, laughter lingering in the throat, a smile washes away the worn, and I am feeling like those familiar pair of jeans again. I am comfortable in myself, fitting just right.

Walking out right before dawn, a crow flies out from the night, landing on my car. I am still, watching her eyes stare back at mine. Thoughts flash in my head of my childhood and womanhood coalescing into a pirouette of self-embodiment. This last year’s work greets me in those crows eyes recognizing me. I am humbled by her presence, sharing with me another conversation from the universe. The crow squawks a blessing into the air and my breath is struck silent in the listening and then off she goes two circles and into the night she returns. I have no idea if any of my plans will work out, but here I am about to go home.


Saturday, January 13, 2007

Spring Semester 2007

First week back to the grind of school is always busy. Getting situated with classes, organizing the internship, downloading all the articles we have to read is a muttered mess of organization. Added to this, I had to work out some details for graduation this spring. I am graduating in Spring 2007, but am taking a couple more classes this summer to fulfill some elective credits. That’s the task commentary for the week. I am taking three classes - a policy class on Aging, Family and Group therapy, and a MSW administrative class. The last class is going to be the tedious one. We are learning how to "develop" a program. Yeah, I’d rather do hands on learning, thank you.

Internship is going swell. I am training a new MSW intern, so there will be two of us now. I keep meaning to post more about what it is like to be a MSW intern at a Veterinary Teaching Hospital for the owners of animals in crisis. It’s a rather unique experience. Its also nice to have a fellow student involved for two reasons. It takes the spot life off of me as the poster child for this unique placement and I have company. Its nice to have another student around to talk about the whole affair.

Which leads me to the job. I did not get my promotion. Oh, not because of anything I did or didn’t do. The position I was gaming for was filled by someone laid off. In fact, no one interviewed for the position, the union simply demanded she get the job opening. Personally, I am disappointed, but completely understand. If I was laid off, I would hope the union would help me to get another job within the organization quickly. It just happens in this case, it was another woman and the job I wanted. Ironically, I will be working with her, so I’m glad I see the bigger picture in all of this. Lets hope she has a good personality. Still I’m bummed I didn’t get the promotion.

That's the week in a nutshell. Pretty dry at the moment. It takes time to settle into the routine of things. But isn't this the cutest kitty pic! Somewhere, somehow, I turned into a big ball of mush for furry things.


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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

"To bed, to bed," she said.

Long day, good day, fun day, school day.



Sunday, January 07, 2007

No Road Trip: Instead I Hung Out With Viral Gastroenteritis - Go Me!

I woke up this morning feeling like a crinkle, like one of those crinkly fries in fact. I didn’t go on my road trip. Rather, I went home packed my things while my body began to feel intensely nauseous. Little ole me, went through the days meals and realized I only had a salad – a very good salad mmm, mmm – a hand full of almonds, and a few carrots. Its not because of diet or weight watch, it was just because that is what I felt like eating. I thought my nausea was from the lack of eating, so I ate more. Hmm. Hind sight can be a dastard little mind's eye view. I ate cottage cheese and yogurt. Also, very good. I thought I needed some protein and carbs, and then proceeded to eat a handful of grapes. Then my belly started to feel tight and squawked at me. My face began to feel puffy and my head got this concentrated headache right in the dot of my forehead. I knew this feeling before. It was the inevitable signs of “going to be sick.” Not a good sign an hour before heading to Detroit to pick up my friend.

I could tell you the whole ghastly story; write a huge DISCLAIMER HERE about how one should read with caution as I describe the intense feelings of the stomach involuntarily retching up everything one has ingested. I could write about how the smell only makes one puke more and when done, there is only a momentary reprieve from the pain as the intestines recoil and tighten, preparing for the next cycle. Ah, there is nothing like the stomach flu to put the body prostrate in a humbled bent position as the self prays, “please let this be the last time”, only to do it over and over again in multiple waves of projectile pain. But who wants to hear the details, aye.

I called my friend two hours after the incursion to tell her I would come up in the morning, in complete denial that this wasn’t some gastric infraction from not eating enough during the day. Then the night in hell proceeded. But don’t worry; I’m not taking this page down there. Not going to mention anymore about just how much fluid the body can hold and excrete in a matter of hours…long excruciating hours. Oh, and I’m sure we have all had experience with the dry heaves that no description is necessary. I was very grateful to have a friend come over and bring me 7up and I even got my Dad to come up and help out for the rest of the night and most the next day.

This was a pretty bad experience for me if I am calling my dad. Let's just say there are things I have learned in life. When one lives by herself, it is best to not think about monsters, ghosts or murderers in the middle of the night. Just best not to go there. When in the middle of tossing one's lunch via many exits at once while the head pounds and blood gets pressed against the eyes like one’s own tripp theatre show, its best not to have thoughts like “What if I am a toss away from a brain aneurism?”

Yeah, I’m being dramatic. But it was pretty bad. I am grateful for my Dad taking time to come and help me. It was a really bad last few days and my temp ran high and I couldn’t get out of bed. I lost a lot of weight in the last few days too. I’m surprised. Today is the first day without a fever as far as I can tell. I’m still feeling pretty low energy and thoughts of road trip madness seems miles away. I’m sad to say that I am still tied too closely to my bathroom at the moment. It looks like its bed and bad TV for me today. I might do Sudoku too. I'm not one for laying around all day, even if its best. My only goal today is to check my email, which I have done and buy my books for class tomorrow. Ah class.

Signing out.

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Thursday, January 04, 2007

Checking In and then Checking Out

It’s the New Year. How’d that happen? No, seriously, I’ve been enjoying the transition into a new day, a new month, a new year. I’ve been writing, working on becoming short and concise. First, I had to admit that I had a problem. I stood up and admitted, I am a longwinded writer. I like my sentences long and winding. I had to stop blaming early exposure to long winded, yet good, literature. Stop blaming Faulkner. Faulkner! Then, I had to do all these writing exercises that helped me tighten my words. Mmm. I have a long way to go.

I’ve been writing this page, scratching it, and rewriting it. My days have been pretty low key these days. Coffee with friends, books to read, writing off this page. Getting ready for my road trip this weekend. I’m going down to Kentucky. I’m collecting a friend and heading out on the road. Fun. I’m just kind of being in the moment…at the moment. I just bought myself a digital camera and have been playing with that too. This page will never be the same. Expect road trip photo fun when I return.

I also bought Kate Bush’s new album Aerial. Ah, she was a definite part of my past. Kate Bush lived in my tape deck for most of junior high school. I tell the page this as a transition into the next part of the page. I’ve also been reading my journals from my High School/Junior High part of my life. Kate seems like a perfect backdrop to the deed. It’s been a great exercise of growing.

I started to read my old journals by accident. One day around the time I was redecorating my home, I found myself sitting on the floor and cracking my old journals between dust rags and a bed leaning against the wall mid move. I’ve been fortunate that I have written through most of my life and have something tangible to review. I found myself crying and laughing and reading more. I also found it hard and there were days when I didn’t want to look at another journal or even the gyrl in the mirror. I did find this self stronger then I thought I had left her. I’m the cliché. I couldn’t wait to leave my home town and “get out”. I found myself reading through the transition of a gyrl who loved her home town to the person who signed out long before the day I was dropped off at college. So, as the gyrl who ran, not walked, nor did I collect my $200 dollars out of town, I also didn’t like myself by the time I departed. The thing is, I always thought there was something that warranted not liking. I believed I wasn’t worth a place in this world, and have fought ever since for one. Even picked people in my life who wouldn’t hesitate to re-instill what I believed about myself. Funny how that goes.

I suppose I tell this page as an explanation for long absences, but really I’m just living my life. It’s nice to not have my lap top connected to my hip during this winter break. There is life without technology. It is beautiful. It is quiet. I am sure though, as time brings me back to the classroom and late night living with my 17 inch screen, I’ll be posting more. Expect introspections regarding my High School years…she needs a place to live too.

Well, I need to go. It’s getting later and I need to pack my things to head out. I’m looking forward to being on the road, the laughter, and the photos I’ll be taking.

Yeah, that’s about it.


The Photos are from the cellphone. I just wanted pictures.

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