The Question: a parody
Mother: Saw X at w*l-mart
In my home town W*l-mart seems to be the popular place to see people. Its not just my parents either. Friends will call me up and say, "Hey, I saw your parents at w*l-mart. I don’t promote the place, I’m just stating an observation.
GoGo: Yeah, how’s she doing?
Mother: Her partner and her are having a commitment ceremony.
Since I have left my home town, a good number of my friends have turned out to be queer, suspected queer, or divorcing someone who is queer. None of us mentioned even the idea we might be gay to one another while we were growing up. I suspect the high number of folks now coming out has something to do with the water.
GoGo: Wow! That’s wonderful.
I am very impressed my Mother knew the words partner and commitment ceremony.
Mother: [GoGo with a y], you know your father and I are very proud of you and love you very much.
GoGo: Thanks, Mom. That really means a lot for me to hear.
Mother: [GoGo with a y], can I ask you a question?
Does your mother have the power to turn your insides into jelly, and make you feel like your 3-year-old instantly, or turn a day full of great accomplishments into the most depressing day ever by asking you one simple question?
GoGo: Is this the question you have been banned to ever ask me, even if it had the potential to save the world from destruction? Is this the question that I promised I would tell you about if it were happening? Is this the question that ends with me running to the fridge and suckling my sorrow with too much food? Is this THAT question, Mom?
Mother: A simple ‘No’ would have sufficed.
In my home town W*l-mart seems to be the popular place to see people. Its not just my parents either. Friends will call me up and say, "Hey, I saw your parents at w*l-mart. I don’t promote the place, I’m just stating an observation.
GoGo: Yeah, how’s she doing?
Mother: Her partner and her are having a commitment ceremony.
Since I have left my home town, a good number of my friends have turned out to be queer, suspected queer, or divorcing someone who is queer. None of us mentioned even the idea we might be gay to one another while we were growing up. I suspect the high number of folks now coming out has something to do with the water.
GoGo: Wow! That’s wonderful.
I am very impressed my Mother knew the words partner and commitment ceremony.
Mother: [GoGo with a y], you know your father and I are very proud of you and love you very much.
GoGo: Thanks, Mom. That really means a lot for me to hear.
Mother: [GoGo with a y], can I ask you a question?
Does your mother have the power to turn your insides into jelly, and make you feel like your 3-year-old instantly, or turn a day full of great accomplishments into the most depressing day ever by asking you one simple question?
GoGo: Is this the question you have been banned to ever ask me, even if it had the potential to save the world from destruction? Is this the question that I promised I would tell you about if it were happening? Is this the question that ends with me running to the fridge and suckling my sorrow with too much food? Is this THAT question, Mom?
Mother: A simple ‘No’ would have sufficed.
posted by GoGo | 4:39 AM
11 Comments:
Hahahaha. I don't know how mothers gain that power but somehow they do. And then they practice it for years and years so when you are finally a "grown-up" they have it so well tuned that they can make you feel like you are 3 again. Gotta love it.
Have a nice rest of your weekend,
Heather
Yeah, I know those "questions" all too well.... and they make me cringe inside. The funny thing is that SHE knows them too. I know this because she always prefaces them with "I know you don't like to talk about this, but....." And then she proceeds to ask the question! It amazes me.
Anyway, good for you for nipping THAT question in the bud! You don't wanna answer, you don't have to!
I.Love.This.Post.
You made me smile. My mother can still reduce me to jelly with a question (or a statement, posed as a question), and I often get the call about who she has run into recently at Wal-Mart.
Have a great week! xo
Good post..... made me chuckle!
This was such a good post! I'm envisioning my own mother coming out of that same W*lmart with a few cases of purified bottled water for me, you know, just in case I had any plans to drink the local tap water :))
I love my mum and I know she loves me. She has told me she feel genetically predisposed to asking all the wrong questions, that somehow at my birth she was destined to be as annoying as her own mother.
I told her she needs genetic counseling. badumpbump.
You are so funny! What a conversation! In my hometown, it's the same (the Walmart is 16 miles away) and everyone sees everyone else there and they all gossip like mad. But I can't imagine they would have a clue about the issues your mom brought up! :)
lol. this is terrific!
So....what was the question? ;)
That was fabulous, GoGo! My mom has the same power over me. Thanks for sharing and making me smile, even if it was at your expense.
I ditto everyone else! A funny post and one that all daughters can relate to!! I'm so glad you posted it!
Thank you for your comments on my blog last week. They really meant a lot. PS. They got mentioned in my post today!
JTL
xxx
Hi! go on over to my blog. I've tagged you to write 5 things that put a smile on your face this week :))
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