Umber stained leaf by leaf: free thought
She came in full force a few days ago. Morning ran thick with chilly winds, rain cried from the clouds, only to bring sunny afternoons. The air though, this is her signature, assured response that she is taking over the scene. My clothes become layers of long sleeves and socks. I begin to wonder, should I carry a jacket?
Autumn. I am not sure what to do with her. Summer was my season, warm and thick with sunlight. I walked bright streets in the later night, saw the fruits of her comfort grow thick and ripe. She is the grower; she is laid back and all about being outside. But there is no reason to walk gingerly in the grace of autumn’s form forming into the season where summer’s birth, harvested, is reaped with rewards.
I think that’s why I stand in Autumn, trepidation lingering…
While I played and laughed under summer’s growing light, I found myself sticking around this town instead of moving. I made the decision to stop pushing forward this matter of being somewhere else, to be exactly where I was. I liked it…under summer’s sun. I liked my company too, she was me learning to let go and just be. And here I am, wondering, still a little nervous that what grew inside of me, will garner me stronger through autumn’s colder months. Am I the clichéd grasshopper about to be shut out in the cold? Autumn, she’s cold this year.
Ah, but in truth, I do love autumn’s hand. She plays her cards with crisp elegance – prickled fingers and warm bond fires, subtle smells of leaves raked, sunrises are a flush of color under brewing skies. This nervous worry doesn’t have anything to do with her really. It’s all about me, letting the effects of just being play out, in yet another season in this town. It's feels harder after the first season!