meme squared

Good twilight,

I have two memes to address tonight. Beansprout sent me the first one and Ruminating in the Roses sent me the second one. I am suppose to tag folks, but am going to say anyone who wants to can consider themselves tagged.

Meme 1

This is how it works:

1. Find the nearest book.

2. Name the book & the author.

3. Turn to page 123.

4. Go to the fifth sentence on the page.

5. Copy out the next three sentences and post to your blog.

Richard, H. (2006). Advocacy Practice for Social Justice. Lyceum Books; Chicago: IL.

"The degree of content detail you can put into your presentation (whether in-person, on the telephone, or in a written manner) will vary in strict correlation with the amount of time you have to present. In a meeting of five or more minutes, you can probably do a thorough job if you are well prepared. However, in a very brief meeting (going up three floors in an elevator, for example), you may have only one or two sentences for each of these points or you may have to combine important points in one sentence" (Hoefer, 2006, p.123)

First thought when I read this - Are you serious. Interpretation of text: The amount of detail you put into a presentation varies depending on the time you have to present. My second thought - I really have to read this for class? Excuse me, I have to practice my elevator presentation skills.

Meme 2

1. If you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be?
At this moment, not reading dry and what I believe to be self-evident books for class. Just not reading them and B.S.ing my way through the discussion part of class. Okay, I’m going to do that anyway.
2. If you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be?
I always feel like questions like this are hard. My end result I’d want is world peace, harmony, etc. So, I guess what I would change are the precepts of one God and mine’s better of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam.
3. Name the cartoon character you identify with the most.
Calvin from Calvin & Hobbs. That or a mix of Bucky Katt and Satchel Pooch.
4. If you could live one day in your life over again which one would it be?
I haven’t had that day yet, though there have been many days that I love very much.
5. If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be?
This is too hard. One?! Empress Wu. You should check her out.
6. What is the one thing you lost, sold or threw away that you wish you could have back?
My red bike if you mean by lost it was stolen. If not, then there is really nothing missing.
7. What is your one most important contribution to this world?
Uh...um...I’m a cool big sister and aunt. No pressure with this question, aye.
8. What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about?
I’m a fantastic shower singer. Tehe. Everybody already knows I can read palms.
9. What is your most cherished possession?
My journals.
10. What one person influenced your life the most when growing up? My grandmother.
11. What one word describes you better than any other?
GoGo.

I totally cheated, didn't I.

Checking In and then Checking Out

It’s the New Year. How’d that happen? No, seriously, I’ve been enjoying the transition into a new day, a new month, a new year. I’ve been writing, working on becoming short and concise. First, I had to admit that I had a problem. I stood up and admitted, I am a longwinded writer. I like my sentences long and winding. I had to stop blaming early exposure to long winded, yet good, literature. Stop blaming Faulkner. Faulkner! Then, I had to do all these writing exercises that helped me tighten my words. Mmm. I have a long way to go.

I’ve been writing this page, scratching it, and rewriting it. My days have been pretty low key these days. Coffee with friends, books to read, writing off this page. Getting ready for my road trip this weekend. I’m going down to Kentucky. I’m collecting a friend and heading out on the road. Fun. I’m just kind of being in the moment…at the moment. I just bought myself a digital camera and have been playing with that too. This page will never be the same. Expect road trip photo fun when I return.

I also bought Kate Bush’s new album Aerial. Ah, she was a definite part of my past. Kate Bush lived in my tape deck for most of junior high school. I tell the page this as a transition into the next part of the page. I’ve also been reading my journals from my High School/Junior High part of my life. Kate seems like a perfect backdrop to the deed. It’s been a great exercise of growing.

I started to read my old journals by accident. One day around the time I was redecorating my home, I found myself sitting on the floor and cracking my old journals between dust rags and a bed leaning against the wall mid move. I’ve been fortunate that I have written through most of my life and have something tangible to review. I found myself crying and laughing and reading more. I also found it hard and there were days when I didn’t want to look at another journal or even the gyrl in the mirror. I did find this self stronger then I thought I had left her. I’m the cliché. I couldn’t wait to leave my home town and “get out”. I found myself reading through the transition of a gyrl who loved her home town to the person who signed out long before the day I was dropped off at college. So, as the gyrl who ran, not walked, nor did I collect my $200 dollars out of town, I also didn’t like myself by the time I departed. The thing is, I always thought there was something that warranted not liking. I believed I wasn’t worth a place in this world, and have fought ever since for one. Even picked people in my life who wouldn’t hesitate to re-instill what I believed about myself. Funny how that goes.

I suppose I tell this page as an explanation for long absences, but really I’m just living my life. It’s nice to not have my lap top connected to my hip during this winter break. There is life without technology. It is beautiful. It is quiet. I am sure though, as time brings me back to the classroom and late night living with my 17 inch screen, I’ll be posting more. Expect introspections regarding my High School years…she needs a place to live too.

Well, I need to go. It’s getting later and I need to pack my things to head out. I’m looking forward to being on the road, the laughter, and the photos I’ll be taking.

Yeah, that’s about it.

~GoGo

The Photos are from the cellphone. I just wanted pictures.

the internal compass gearing to go

I was inspired to try and write this from someone else’s page today, putting words to this leaving thing I am doing. I hold onto what is happening for me like I’m holding my breath. I was glad to get the reminder to breathe.

I’ve been talking about leaving this town for some time, ready to move onto the next adventure in this GoGo’s life. It’s taking some serious prep-work to get on the road, as I need to prepare months in advance. Recently, I’ve been getting this upwelling of loss. I want to savor every moment, every friend, and every experience I still have left here. It reminds me of when my grandmother was dieing, and I decided to remember the color of the sky. I believed if I could remember the color, I could remember her. One would think I’d tried to remember her face, but for some reason I could see the sky better.

It’s hard to put words to what I am feeling and the thoughts roaming in my head. Most of it hasn’t formed in a palette of color to put here on this page; it’s all a mix of colors blending into grey. Interpretation, I don’t know how to talk about it. I want to try though. Like at work today, I found myself laughing with my co-workers and this sudden realization that they are not going to be in my life much longer hit me. Then I thought about the friends I’ll be saying good bye to. This time I am saying good bye to them as I leave, instead of watching them head out into the world. It was much easier watching friends go and know there would be some who I’d never loose connection to and some who would fall away to the distance time brings, then watching myself go. By this time next year, I’m going to be somewhere else probably feeling isolated while I try to get my bearings. I’ll also be having a good time stretching myself…

…Yeah, honestly I have no clue what it will look like for me.

I get that seasons change and time takes us where we need to go. I get that loss makes room for growth. I get that this choice to step out of the State and do things I only dreamt someone else could is a good choice forward. I’m not leaving to find myself, but that the self I have found wants to go and grow, while collecting more of this me. I want to send my little Bo his letters from another country and find some new neighborhood to explore. Ride my bike down another river trail daily. The writer wants more material to work from. I want to position myself to know the next town I settle in will be the place I buy a home (hopefully while it is still a buyers market). I want to leave this town and travel the world. I want to feel the wings that hug these shoulders, and yet it doesn’t make it easier.

I find I already miss so many things and people. I guess it’s a reflection of the internal compass gearing to go. I don’t like the feelings though. It brings up the question, will I be remembered when I go? I answer with this, those who will remember are blessed and those who will not are gifted (Saying from my Gramps). Seriously, I know it’s a deeper insecurity meant to be self-loved and has no barring on those who I care for. Leaving then gives me an opportunity to heal this old voice at the root. It also brings up other habits of already distancing this self to make sure I don’t get hurt. Damn those defense mechanisms…damn my degree in mental health…damn Freud!
No wait, this is a good thing.

I want to remember every color, every person, every corner and smell so I can carry it all with me, so I can review the memory whenever I need something of home to hold onto. And that is it, I suppose. This place was my home…is my home. Still, I am ready to go…still, I will miss this place…knowing the time left feels like I am treading a new path already. This path greets me with both gratefulness for my time and sadness for how limited it feels.

And this is what I have tonight, between work, holiday shopping, and Survivor…a bluesy AND A VERY CRAMPY gyrl who is trying to make sense of this “going thing” I’m doing.

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The photos are various photographers I've collected, click them to see the names.