Checking In and then Checking Out

It’s the New Year. How’d that happen? No, seriously, I’ve been enjoying the transition into a new day, a new month, a new year. I’ve been writing, working on becoming short and concise. First, I had to admit that I had a problem. I stood up and admitted, I am a longwinded writer. I like my sentences long and winding. I had to stop blaming early exposure to long winded, yet good, literature. Stop blaming Faulkner. Faulkner! Then, I had to do all these writing exercises that helped me tighten my words. Mmm. I have a long way to go.

I’ve been writing this page, scratching it, and rewriting it. My days have been pretty low key these days. Coffee with friends, books to read, writing off this page. Getting ready for my road trip this weekend. I’m going down to Kentucky. I’m collecting a friend and heading out on the road. Fun. I’m just kind of being in the moment…at the moment. I just bought myself a digital camera and have been playing with that too. This page will never be the same. Expect road trip photo fun when I return.

I also bought Kate Bush’s new album Aerial. Ah, she was a definite part of my past. Kate Bush lived in my tape deck for most of junior high school. I tell the page this as a transition into the next part of the page. I’ve also been reading my journals from my High School/Junior High part of my life. Kate seems like a perfect backdrop to the deed. It’s been a great exercise of growing.

I started to read my old journals by accident. One day around the time I was redecorating my home, I found myself sitting on the floor and cracking my old journals between dust rags and a bed leaning against the wall mid move. I’ve been fortunate that I have written through most of my life and have something tangible to review. I found myself crying and laughing and reading more. I also found it hard and there were days when I didn’t want to look at another journal or even the gyrl in the mirror. I did find this self stronger then I thought I had left her. I’m the cliché. I couldn’t wait to leave my home town and “get out”. I found myself reading through the transition of a gyrl who loved her home town to the person who signed out long before the day I was dropped off at college. So, as the gyrl who ran, not walked, nor did I collect my $200 dollars out of town, I also didn’t like myself by the time I departed. The thing is, I always thought there was something that warranted not liking. I believed I wasn’t worth a place in this world, and have fought ever since for one. Even picked people in my life who wouldn’t hesitate to re-instill what I believed about myself. Funny how that goes.

I suppose I tell this page as an explanation for long absences, but really I’m just living my life. It’s nice to not have my lap top connected to my hip during this winter break. There is life without technology. It is beautiful. It is quiet. I am sure though, as time brings me back to the classroom and late night living with my 17 inch screen, I’ll be posting more. Expect introspections regarding my High School years…she needs a place to live too.

Well, I need to go. It’s getting later and I need to pack my things to head out. I’m looking forward to being on the road, the laughter, and the photos I’ll be taking.

Yeah, that’s about it.

~GoGo

The Photos are from the cellphone. I just wanted pictures.