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"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Post Number 240

Post Number 240
I don’t know why I am on this page, having nothing to say.
Acting the adult throughout this day,
Then cut out during the early evening
and let myself play.

Projects already coming due,
That presentation. The paper.
Internship tomorrow,
Then work the next day.

I’m gearing up for busy.
Gearing up, but still not ready
To commit to staying this way.
~ ~
Someone asked me this evening,
“You working on your own story?”
The response,
unspoken, but spoken in my head said,
“Who the fck knows.”
Whatever I’m doing here,
is just something I got to do.
It doesn’t fit this career forming,
the Social Worker,
therapist,
doesn’t fit with this
clandestine writer
scribbling bobbles about her day.
Don’t get me wrong,
I am committed to getting that piece of paper –
that Master’s hanging over my desk.

Yet, I know there is no absolution
for the other half of me
who likes scribbling away –
for all she has to say.

I’m a simple girl.
I can only hold a few
solid
projects happening at once.
School, internship and work
are about all I can handle on this plate,
yet
if I could just refocus this energy
I put on this page,
I’d start writing that story
that’s always brewing in my head.

Hmm.
Then I smile
as I look at my sidekick pile of things
that I need to do tomorrow
and how time just pushed me into later –
resigned to what’s been written
is about all I have in me today.

Until then, I guess this is my story I’m working on.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous beansprout said...

Yup...we are our own stories. I loved this post.

7:09 AM, September 06, 2006  
Blogger twitches said...

Well, you have to have a life outside of writing, otherwise you'd have nothing to write about. So I think you'll be successful at combining these two aspects of your character. I think your career will give you more material to write about.

6:08 PM, September 07, 2006  
Blogger floots said...

i figure that's what we're all doing in our own way
thank you

2:18 AM, September 11, 2006  

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