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Location: Midwest, United States

"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

"I haven't done diddly for graduation"

It’s snowing outside. It’s been snowing for weeks. I don’t know why. Global warming, fluke weather. All I know is, it’s snowing. I’m done with snow.

Suddenly everything feels manageable after feeling quite full of graduate school the last few months. I am down to 3 papers and a presentation, and my last 3 weeks. They’re big papers, but I’ve gotten all the nasty research out of the way and written my outlines. Very excited to almost be done. I do have a summer class. Well one class and two seminars, but this is nothing in comparison to I've completed.

I am so excited to be walking in May, I can’t even contain myself. I love the conversations floating around the classroom right now. Everyone’s trying to see who is going to the graduation ceremonies and bargaining to get folks to go. Apparently, I am not the only person who hasn’t bought the gown or as my friend next to me just said, “I haven’t done diddly for graduation.”

I have to remind myself that I am not going to see many good friends after this semester, and more after I leave for London. I think the hardest part about transitions is loosing the connection with folks I have built over time. I know some stay and change with life’s changes, some fade away, and some are found again in some distant time not yet here. In the moment though, it is this kind of loss that is the hardest to feel. And yet, I am very excited to make new connections, explore life as it unfolds in this new unknown. Very excited to unpack my bag of all these text books hanging heavy on my shoulder...Very excited.

Jumping into life can be hard. Jumping into graduate school wasn’t always easy. I did it and came out better for it. Now, I move toward jumping into something even harder – moving to another country. I remind myself I want to be a person who faces life. It’s not the end result, but the striving that I want to be present with. I don’t mind if I complain, just as long as I am present. I am leaving at the beginning of September. I need this time to make the money to go (‘cause I have big dreams but a shallow pocket). I also need my final class out of the way and transcripts to enter the country as a Social Worker. This is my journey to come and as I wind down grad school, I suddenly feel ready to focus. I so cannot wait to check out the local music seen in London, finding a writing class and perhaps a photograhy class over there, besides the traveling.

Ah, another ramble. I start with snow and end with London. Everything in between is me.


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Blogger Elspeth said...

London will be great.

6:00 PM, April 11, 2007  

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