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"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

something happened on the way to Durham

A quiet peace hangs in the night air. Warmth permeates the body and for the first time since winter began, my body relaxes, muscles loosening around the shoulders, and I walk without that primordial instinct to brace against the cold. I am in North Carolina, Durham, with friends. The days have been sunny, the nights filled with the liquor residue of warmer days. I needed this.

Something happened on the way to Durham. I can’t deny that I expected this. Traveling has always been an impetus for self-awareness. Somehow movement turns my own pages and I find my chapters change while I am on the road. Now, let me back pedal and say that this awareness wasn’t some big epiphany or life altering insight. I still have homework due by Monday when I get back to school, still have my job to go back to, still have rent and bills to pay…still moving to London. Rather, I got to come to a place where I am riding comfortably in my life. It was as simple as in one moment I had the thought “This is my life” and it made me smile.

This thought keeps happening over and over again, and each time that feeling of comfort greets me. Even on my bad days when life feels like coffee spilled on the croutch while driving, my smile and self-assurance greets me. I am grateful for life as an experience. Driving down, I realized this isn't an insight that will go away or get lost in living...its a part of me and my journey.

This week I have explored the triangle, laughed with friends, walked nature trails, and found thrift stores. I have also confirmed the move to London, getting the next phase of documents to fill out and sign. As long as I can continue to raise the money I need to survive over there, I am on my way. Its kind of official…of course I don’t know if it will feel real until I am actually walking the streets of London. I am glad the next phase in my journey greeted me while in Durham.

Now, excuse me while I go back to my vacation.

~gg

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3 Comments:

Blogger Wenda said...

Sounds like a wonderful feeling. Hope it is still lasting.

11:01 PM, March 12, 2007  
Blogger Bug said...

So funny. I was just in the Triangle area a few weeks ago. I also loved it. And I LOOOOOVE London. I lived there as an undergrad. Let me know if you need any info about it. It is such a wonderful place. I'm sure you'll have a great time!

9:08 PM, March 14, 2007  
Blogger oceangirl13 said...

i hope north carolina treated you well! durham is a favorite of mine :)

9:45 PM, March 24, 2007  

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