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"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Finished


Just turned in my last final. Wooohooo. I’m feeling mighty proud of myself at the moment. Sure it can be the residuals of staying up for the good portion of the night to finish this last final – a 5question 10 page total take home.

I think its okay for me to take this moment and absorb the finale of a semester well done. For the first time, the internal voice of doubt that I can do this is silent. It’s funny how the recordings get stuck in our heads from childhood and continue to play against our consent. It takes experience and personal growth to take the power back on the play button to turn it off and re-record. I could go into depth regarding what this old belief system is and where it stems from. It did not stem from my parents who gave me the courage to face off with the public school system for the opportunity and rights that I inherently had, but that socioeconomic status marred. It was my parents’ faith in me that encouraged me to continue to believe I can do anything I want in this world with enough conviction (within reason). Still the recording lasted until now.

For anyone who has old belief systems burning thoughts into their head, I can only offer it first starts with confronting the old dialogue. Even if you don’t believe, if you act “as if” it is true, the truth will begin to take hold and fill in the cracks forming, building a new stronger foundation for the self. I say this because I believe it. Why not? If untruths can be believed, why not truths reformed?

I say this for myself. I say this for anyone who was told in childhood that the sum of the self was limited to social expectation.

What are the recordings you want to change?

With this said, its time to stop for a while and just be.

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14 Comments:

Blogger Jim C. Hines said...

I'm too late for the "Good Luck" entry, but I get to be the first one for the Congratulations on finishing the semester entry! Go you!!!

10:30 AM, December 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"for anyone who was told in childhood that the sum of the self was limited to social expectation"...... yep. childhood recordings are so hard to change. it's amazing how the adult mind can rationally talk to that childhood voice, but our initial reactions and thoughts and feelings always revert back to the old recordings. It takes such attention and focus to begin to catch those thoughts and fight them.... that's a big part of my journey right now. Maybe the biggest part, actually. Thanks for the reality check... that climbing out of these old beliefs IS possible.

I'm proud of you, GoGo. You've done so much work to get to this point... and you've completed the semester! Congrats. You're awesome.

10:41 AM, December 05, 2006  
Anonymous Stacy said...

Congrats on finishing up a good semester! I hope your grades reflect all your hard work.

Stopped by because Dr. John made you his link of the day.

11:18 AM, December 05, 2006  
Blogger jafabrit said...

also from dr.johns and congrats on finishing the semester :) great post, those recordings are a challenge. I guess I would say the one that keeps popping up for me is that I think I might be boring. Which is silly but maybe that isn't such a bad thing since it motivates me to live an unboring life LOL!

11:30 AM, December 05, 2006  
Blogger Jan said...

Am another via Dr. John. Congrats on all your hard work.

1:53 PM, December 05, 2006  
Blogger Margaret said...

See it, name it and it shall become. Congratulations for getting through another semister. My husband is in his final year of college. A little late but just in time.

Stopping by because Dr. John told me to or else he'd run me over with a cottonball steamroller.

2:39 PM, December 05, 2006  
Blogger Chana said...

the mind is a strong ally or the worst enemy. and it is often our choice to choose what we allow.

congratulations on your great finale. i'm sure you have done a great job.

Dr. John made you his link of the day. hi.

2:46 PM, December 05, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations on finishing up your Semester, now to take some time to recharge the batteries.

Stopping by as Dr John has you as link of the day.

5:16 PM, December 05, 2006  
Blogger Sunflower Optimism said...

Yes, also stopping by at Dr. John's urging. But really, your post was so bizarre - no, don't misunderstand! it was great - but bizarre in that I have visited at least three blogs lately that reminded me of the book "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. She also talks about changing the recordings and how to achieve that.

I have not followed her program in several years, but have been toying with the idea of going back to it again. I'm thinking the Universe (what I call God) wants me back on that track also, seeing as I have had many recent pointers in that direction.

Congratulations on finishing up the semester. My children are both in the midst of finals now - both highly stressed!

6:30 PM, December 05, 2006  
Blogger GoGo said...

Thanks for the comments, folks. Hey ya, Hi Ya Dr. Johm.

Seems like fun over there!

It is good to have as much as possible.

Will have to take time in the future to visit everyone's blog.

Thanks.

7:41 PM, December 05, 2006  
Blogger GoGo said...

it is good to have as much

FUN

as possible

7:41 PM, December 05, 2006  
Blogger Rose of Sharon said...

Brava my friend, brava!!! Yes, sit and be, you've deserved every minute of peace. And I am glad that your recording has changed. There are great things to come and I look forward to reading about each and everyone of them. And tag, you're it from Dr. John's blog! :) Have a wonderful evening, dear friend!

8:59 PM, December 05, 2006  
Blogger twitches said...

"act as if" is a phrase I first heard at AA meetings. It works wonders.

Congrats and enjoy your break!

10:55 AM, December 06, 2006  
Blogger paris parfait said...

Hooray for you! Hope you enjoy the holidays and your break from school.

4:04 PM, December 11, 2006  

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