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"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Friday, October 27, 2006

having fun with blocks, spelling s-t-r-e-s-s

I realized writing the last entry I sound morose and I don’t feel this way in my personal realm at all. Tired, yes. Worn, absolutely. A little gnawed by the stress of midterms at the moment, pretty much. I so cannot write another entry about school and being tired though! I have decided to make a shirt that says, “i’m tired” and be done with it. I believe I could make a pretty penny from class mates with this one! I’m also done with writing about school in general, preferring to leave it for another page…like that paper I have to write for my theory class, for example.

I’m having some serious writers block. I have written the entry for this page over and over again tonight, just to avoid staring at the cursor marking where I am stuck in my paper. I haven’t spent this long trying to write an entry EVER, and am quickly becoming delinquent in my studies. I’m having blogger growing pains I believe, moving out of one developmental stage of writing into another and am struggling to figure out what I want to do with this page.

Am I having a blogger identity crisis? Who am I? What am I doing on this page?

That so made me smile.

In my mind’s eye, I can see this page as a creative outlet, letting myself mix personal experience with creative expression. There are entries when I can see this happen beautifully, surprising myself. I honestly like some of the things I’ve written. I truly appreciate the writing process in general.

I feel like I’m teething though. My gums are swollen, there is a lot of drool, but I got nothing to chew with. Yeah, I know I’m stretching the imagery used on this page, but it popped into my head…I thought I could make it work. I’m done with the public journaling stuff. School was a safe subject to write about and am quickly feeling stuck with the commentary of it all – tired, burned out, and because I am in Social Work I really can’t delve into any of it. I can’t write another entry about the research thing either. I said that at the beginning didn’t I? Darn.

Okay, so there it is tonight. This GoGo is A) So ready to be done with school and B) has writers block mixed with C) not sure where I want to go with this blog page. There is also, D) my imagery comes from babysitting and E) the grade I am going to get if I don’t write that paper.

:O)

Signing out,

gg

written last night in the middle of page 3 of a paper due. it gave me a good laugh. i'm still on page 3.

7 Comments:

Blogger BendingPeak said...

I can totally relate the the mid-term stuff. We are not close enough to the end of the tunnel to see the light yet, but far enough in to not back out.
I say keep on blogging, just keeping writing what comes out and try not to censor it.
Have a good weekend,
Heather

12:05 PM, October 27, 2006  
Blogger twitches said...

It must be the time of year. Everyone is feeling this lately.

5:06 PM, October 27, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good luck with your paper, GG.

I can relate to being tired of blogging on a particular subject. I felt the urge to my blog on my most prevalent subject last night. And absolutely told myself - no, no, no. Be done with it! :):) It worked!

JTL
xxx

8:27 PM, October 27, 2006  
Blogger The dykes next door said...

Well, I think that you should write about whatever comes to your mind at that point in time. If you write something only because you think you shouldn't write about another thing, you will never really like what it is that you wrote, because it wasn't what you really wanted to write, only what you THOUGHT you should write. I don't really know if that sentence makes sense, because I'm tired also, and may not be making any sense at this point in time. But I guess my thought is..write what you feel like writing at that point in time...don't write something else just because you think that is what you should write about. Personally, I like all of your posts...

11:48 PM, October 27, 2006  
Blogger Wenda said...

I'm tired, too!

12:06 AM, October 28, 2006  
Blogger GoGo said...

you all make me laugh. thanks for the continued support. thanks for just hearing me say I am tired, and for pushing me to do what feels right inlue of giving into the "shoulds".

Sad though that we all have the consensus of being tired. ;).

~gg

12:45 AM, October 28, 2006  
Blogger renovating this heart said...

I have the same problem with my blog.... sometimes I feel like I "should" be writing more heartfelt, personal stuff on my blog... but then other times I just don't want to talk openly about "real" stuff going on in my life, especially when my own mind is so tired of processing it 24 hours a day.

So I've started being gentle with myself... post "heart stuff" when I feel like it, with fun fillers in between. Like right now, for example... a group of silly videos for everyone else's enjoyment. Sometimes it's fun to post free, lighthearted stuff... then everyone gets to let go of the seriousness of life for a little bit. And feel a break from the TIRING pace of life.

So post away.... whatever you feel like... and we'll keep reading!

11:00 PM, October 28, 2006  

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