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Location: Midwest, United States

"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

filling time trying not to repeat myself:

I was lying in bed this evening trying to get some sleep between the internship and the over night job. Tossing and turning, my mind couldn’t shut off. I work over nights on the weekend at a crisis unit, so I have to switch up my sleeping pattern at the end of the week, then switch it back at the beginning of the week.. I live a diurnal week and a nocturnal weekend. I am not a fan, but the job pays me and gives me insurance while I live my day life as a full time student. I go to my internship on Fridays, so I try to sleep 4-5hours before my Friday night shift.

I’ve been pretty lucky with my sleep patterns. I usually can sleep when I need to, turning off the mind while turning on the drool like a flip of the switch. I’m not a huge fan of this experiment in stamina of sleeping though. The next job I get after I am done with this Masters program is one where I work days. I want my weekends back. I want to be a diurnal mammal once again! I want that feeling back where I feel like I’ve gotten enough sleep. I simply remind myself this is impermanent, a temporary act toward a goal lived.

I have to say, this year I have a pretty decent sleep routine down. I appreciate a routine, so I know Friday I will want to sleep 4hours between shifts. I also appreciate my flexibility too, in that if I have something to do on Friday, I will/can schedule more sleep on Saturday. Of course, all of this is contingent on my wonderful ability of letting go of things quickly and falling to sleep. No time to get caught up in heady thoughts or an unsettled body...its time to sleep!

With all this said, sometimes I can’t get my body to rest no matter what I do. Tonight was one of those sometimes. I spent my "sleep" time preoccupied with everything not sleep related, like if I could be a color what would it be, why don’t I buy into string theory, and wondering what kind of cats I’d get when I finally settle down. I’m thinking siamese and calico. I’m still torn about what color I’d be. By the time I started that lull into sleep where the thought process turns into hypnogogic nonsense, I only had 2 hours of sleep.

I may be a champ of getting to sleep, when it comes to waking up, I’m the worst. I talk to my alarm clock like it’s listening to me when I say, "Five more minutes, I promise I’ll get up." I swear that my sleep button has stopped working because it no longer believes me when I say I’m getting up. :O).

But in the end, this is the long version of, I’m tired and can’t wait to go to sleep.

Happy weekend!

P.S. I counted 19 times I wrote the word sleep...this makes 20.


Blogger The dykes next door said...

You know, lack of sleep will make you fat. And tired. I know from experience!

1:01 AM, October 15, 2006  
Blogger The dykes next door said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:01 AM, October 15, 2006  
Blogger Repeater said...

hey gogo- thanks for stopping by my page. I'm glad I found yours too- loving this post. I often have strange work hours & it really messes with you after a while. I used to be able to bounce back after one good sleep session. Now it takes a week.

12:51 PM, October 15, 2006  
Blogger Tammy said...

Thanks for stopping by :) I guess for Sunday you might want to stop time and sleep. Sweet dreams!

6:57 PM, October 15, 2006  
Blogger Bug said...

Wow-that's impressive that you can turn your sleep on and off like that (normally). I wish I could! And it's also impressive how meditative you are about the experience of working nights: this too shall pass is such a great attitude, but one that can be hard to find!

8:28 PM, October 17, 2006  

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