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"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Heresy , Blasphemy, and Privilege: My Post Secret

The random thoughts mixing on a page send me in the direction of internal these days. Its another overnight shift here in my world. Four more hours then I get to go run the workshop for the internship, then sleep onto maybe a few hours at the coffee shop of study before another overnight shift. Back from vacation and back in the routine. None of it interests me much, or at least does not spur me to strike the keys to tell this page about them.

On Sunday I’ve decided to go to church with a friend/coworker. I’m not prone to communal worship and have long since fallen away from the one G-d theory of the Christian church. Hell, I’ve fallen away from organized Dieties all together preferring to mix my spiritual nourishment between faiths. But lately, I’ve been wanting to revisit the communal prayer. Just sit among a crowd of people and bow my head in silence. I have no intention of praying to "God" as defined by Bush. No intention of investing in the father, the son nor holy ghost, but I do intend to simply bow my head in silence and pray. It would be nice to participate in a communal prayer.

This isn’t the first time. Sometimes when I travel I visit random churches of various faiths and participate. Like I said, I mix my faith with what fits for me. My faith as I define it is a belief that investing in positive energy brings positive energy, investing in internal contemplations brings internal peace, and in all things there is no hierarchy of truth. If it is not appropriate for me to go as a passer by, I do not attend the faith. If who I am is not welcomed, then I do not go. Sometimes my church is mother nature’s sunrise burning in the eastern sky or the hollowed rings of the moon crossing against the clouds. Sometimes I sit with Buddhist as a welcomed visitor meditating, or reading a Sutra the Ajhan passes my way. Sometimes I participate in Jewish ceremonies that friends invite me to. Sometimes I commune with my pillow over what I should do. And sometimes, I just sit on my porch and listen to a choir of birds, but each time I am always with the light of faith. How many people would wince at this, calling out privilege or blasphemy. I say wherever the spirit leads you, go. This is my universal belief.

I need this right now in my life because I have no f^&*ing clue what I am doing these days. Its been 7 months of the busy routine. Its going to be a number of months more. I can’t seem to get my energy intake to match what I am using. Its not physical, its not mental (for once), its not even emotional. I have no clue what I need to get my engines burning again. So, I’m going to sit in silence in a church of faith and pray.

7 Comments:

Blogger telfair said...

I'm not into "organized religion" either, choosing to do whatever spiritual ruminating I do in private. I agree with you -- wherever the spirit leads you, follow. Hope you found some peace and communal satisfaction with your visit to church, though. Sometimes it can be a nice change of pace.

6:04 AM, March 11, 2006  
Blogger GoGo said...

Haven't gone yet. Its this Sunday. I'm sure I'll post something.

6:12 AM, March 11, 2006  
Anonymous beansprout said...

I found this post very moving. I think you are right that "wherever spirit leads you" is the place to go. And I'm with you right now..."I have no f&%$ing clue as to what with ignite the spark in my soul. Be well.

10:29 AM, March 11, 2006  
Blogger Virginia Valle said...

:) I have faith now I follow my spirit ;)!!! take care!!

1:09 PM, March 11, 2006  
Blogger Somnambulist Seeker said...

Amen to that.
Thanks for posting. I think a lot of people are in that same place.

11:32 PM, March 11, 2006  
Blogger GoGo said...

Thanks for your words. I am always surprised when people read my blog...and then return to do it again. ;O).

I appreciate no one sending me damnation and brimstone comments. Thanks again, everyone!

2:57 AM, March 12, 2006  
Blogger Wenda said...

Amen! And speaking of winking crones, I have just written a post about my beliefs, too. Hmmmm.

12:55 AM, March 16, 2006  

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