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"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Week 1: Post Graduation


I just finished reading Dooce. I really enjoy reading her monthly newsletters to her daughter. I always get this warm feeling building inside me only to burst out in wetness crowding around my eyelids. Love is a beautiful thing. I've decided to write my mum for Mother's Day and its going to be titled Mom's Newsletter: Month 359.

Life post graduation has been an interesting ride. I have been staying up late watching sitcoms and reading books (that's the non-textbook version). Though I still have one class this summer, I finally feel done with the fast paced life of grad school. I also am confronting my uptightness with my life path…or rather has fondly been called my anal attentive. Yes, it is different than anal retentive. See, with the exception of going to Kalamazoo to see my Aunt in the hospital, which I will write about in a minute, I have woken at the butt crack of dawn only to sit in front of the tele complete with my cup of Joe and nasty messed up hair until noon. Sometimes I shift between butt cheeks during the course of the morning, but overall, I just sit and watch shows like Sylvia Brown on Montel, Different World, The View until I head out into the world to "do things". I have been silently beating myself up for doing nothing...distracting myself from Sylvia predicting that yet another woman is gonna find a man. I should be cleaning the house, going for a run, working out, etc.

I havealso been doing stuff with friends. It’s nice to play, talk, and discuss everything other then school stuff. Though I realize the majority of my friends and I are pretty conscientious people, so the conversation inevitably returns to politics, policies, world news, and debates regarding the practicality of commuting by bike and bus. I say very. Anyway, many of the people I know are doing the exact same thing I am – randomly moving their butt cheeks in order to avoid bed sores. What a relief. The moment I realized this, I felt this huge anal part of myself finally let go and fart. Whew. Goodbye internal commentary while I am contentedly lazy for a moment. Of course, I also realized I am doing a good number of things in my days already without all this self-flagellation. Funny how that works.

Today I spent the afternoon downloading photos for classmates. I kept promising folks pics I had taken at various function throughout this semester and after my third email from a friend who pretty much promised to disown me if I didn’t follow through, I put it on the schedule to send them out. This was an ardous task complete with sitting on my butt and rotating cheeks.
Um, what else? I researched Hypothyroidism. I have been diagnosed with it this week. I’ve known for some time I probably had it. Not because I have achieved a healthy internal dialogue with my body. Please. I’m still working on that. My Mom has been warning me for some time now that I am just like her and like her I should get checked for thyroid problems. I’ve seen the symptoms occurring during school and wasn’t sure if they were normal grad school stress or the Thyroid, so I got it checked out. I guess in a way I am listening to myself. I just have to let go of the idea that I should be able to self-diagnose as though right next to my anal attentive farter is this internal bioscanner or something.
I wish I had an internal bioscanner.
My mom and I spent last night chatting about my new medication, the tests, and how I am so much like her. I held my hands over the phone and sang “LaLaLa” over the latter part of the conversation. She also told me “I told you so” in various and rather creative ways throughout the conversation. I do love my Mom and she loves me. We've agreed I can fight her on the notion I am like her until I have successfully given her grandchildren AND built a extention to my home all her own.

I am now about to go back to Kalamazoo to see my Aunt. She has made it out of critical condition when only a few days ago the docs were preparing her daughters for the worst. My aunt got into a car accident, broke her ankle and demolished her car only for the docs to realize she had a more serious bowl obstruction. Her car accident, a very mangling experience I was told, saved her life. When I saw her earlier this week, I thought I was going to say goodbye to my third person this year only to find she had woken up and was breathing on her own. Wow! I went down to see my cousins too, worried about them, only to see two sassy stubborn women who knew life can be complicated. Within an hour of being there we were laughing. We even shared stories about our grandmother, the matriarch, and how perhaps this summer we should finally have a family reunion to honor her before I head out to London. We also cried, mourning the fear of my aunt dying.

Well, this is my life. Week 1 post graduation.

Remember to laugh, cry, and get your anal attentive side to fart once and a while.

Until next week,

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!
~GoGo

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3 Comments:

Blogger Bug said...

congrats on graduating! Enjoy the time sitting around and doing nothing. And I love the pool table shot--way cool!

4:46 PM, May 11, 2007  
Blogger kookiejar said...

CONGRATS!!! Time to just laze around for a well deserved student! : )

11:56 AM, May 12, 2007  
Blogger Wenda said...

A belated congrats grad! Sounds to me like you deserve a little down time.

2:04 AM, June 03, 2007  

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