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Location: Midwest, United States

"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Spending time doing the class thing again today...

Took the bus to campus, came to the library to print my “Expert Writeup”, though I believe this is one of those acts of “as if” exercises to teach us how. Now, I’m sitting here wondering what I want to say.

What can a GoGo say about her life these days. Life’s moving forward as I move closer to the “as if” I want to be. The beginning of this vintage year has started out with so much catharsis and ego bruises, I feel like a runner who fell at the starting line and it’s messed up her zone some. Don’t get me wrong, I may have stumbled, I may have fallen, but this cat knows its all about what you do after that is the important part. Well its also important to have a rich internal dialogue – sarcasm and humor are good sidekicks for a runner whose knees are scraped as she pushes forward to the finish line.

I’ve been reading some wonderful blogs lately. So many folks are putting themselves out there in order to feed that part that needs to be out there. How much energy comes from ourselves when we dare to be just that – ourselves. I haven’t seen one blogger who has failed in their attempt to risk exposure, though I’ve seen a number who have felt they are failing.

Well, for now I’m done. I have to admit, now that I am seeing people are reading this blog, its brought up the shyer side of me. It’s not about being judged or saying the wrong thing. I’ve said enough things that were so right, but the world felt was wrong that I know I can handle judgment. I’ve been watched in my lifetime and held my own. I’ve even said the absolute worse thing to say at a moment and recovered, so taking risks and making a mistake doesn’t scare me. I think I’m feeling shy because I’m afraid of the reward of putting myself on a page. Does that make sense?

Oh, that and I’m not sure how many more times I can write about studying and make it interesting to read for myself. I’m finding it old material these days. Did you hear the one about a grad student who walked into a bar? She was too busy studying and forgot to look up.

Speaking of grad school, I have to go to class.


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