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Location: Midwest, United States

"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Goal for 2006? Nap. It’s good to aim low

I sit here at my computer, thinking over 2005. Call me sentimental, but I love to take a moment to breathe in my year, exhaling things I need to let go of before the new one, and holding the lessons and experiences that will harbor me forward. Sometimes at this moment I get anxious from all the things I still need to learn. A pitter patter of how young I feel rolls through me as I take in another year forward. When I do this at my birthday I usually feel grounded and celebratory, but the changing of years tends to give me a sense of grading in which I fail or pass. But not this year!

This year I feel more alive than I ever have and reassured that my sense of direction lines up with the four corners of my life. What can I tell you? I sat in my home with a friend today smiling away at how complete I feel these days. I find myself ever more present minded. The things I need to let go of were let go of at the moment they were held (for the most part). The biggest thing I exhale is smoking in hopes that this time I am done. I let go of the need for reassurance from others, though I still hope to trust more the reassurance of others when given. Trust an extended hand as I trust mine extended.

Once upon a day in my life, an old wise crone of self-label told me to always go forward, accepting those who enter my inner circle must want to be a part of my inner circle and the ability to be present while there. In turn, I should also be so mindful when I enter the inner circle of others, I must want to enter and be present. This is my mantra for 2006. I find this mindset makes it so much easier to let go of defining things and holding onto seasons that must change.

Does that make sense or am I too far in my head today? hmm.

So onward I go through my journey, still collecting the beauty of myself as well as the beauty around me. Still flawed, still etching myself, still learning to love and be loved. Onward I arrive into life like a mystic in love with life and all its graceless beauty.
2006 will be a fine vintage!

One Goal for 2006: Give what I can, receive what I should and learn how to balance the two.

Happy 2006 plus one second more!


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