Bat!

I woke up late in the night, early in the morning to the Phe, Phe, Phe of wings fluttering and my internal dialogue screaming at me, “Bat!” I don’t know how my internal dialogue knew it was a bat. I immediately thought I must have had a bad dream and was about to close my eyes, a person not phased by nightmares, when a black shadow in the darkness caught my eye. It was one of those fleeting shadows you see in a horror movie – quick, untraceable, and caught in the corner of the eye. My internal dialogue did not hesitate to tell me it told me so.

My mind slowly confirmed my internal dialogues warnings as my heart beat faster. I turned on the light, knowing that bats go dormant in the light of day I was hoping that my 60 watt Phillips Natural Light bulb would bring the bat to still submission. Instead I found myself in one of those old video games where the magical candle lights up the horrors to full sight. I watched the bat make frantic circles around my room only to swoop down towards me as it passed above.

Now I kind of find it funny my reactions to it all, like some TV comedy. As the bat made its way towards me, my reaction was to yelp a “Ahh” as I put the covers over my head. I would then put the covers down trying to see if I could make a break for it only to find myself covering my head all over again. This happen more times then I want to admit.

“Hun, this isn’t funny.” My internal dialogue would say as I lay completely paralyzed. I found I didn’t want to fight with the bat.

“I could just sleep with my covers over my head,” was my solution as the internal side of self decided to mention “Yeah, well the bat could also decide to stick its claws in you. What, you think a sheet is a force field of protection? Are you kidding?”

I finally decided I would bolt from the room covering my head with my pillow and close the door behind me while simultaneously yelling, “Ahyeyaaaa” and “Please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me!”

I slept on the couch wondering what I was going to do. Bats have rabies. I had witnessed that bats do swoop, and something tells me it has better coping skills in this situation then I do.

To be fair, while sleeping on the couch, I did have a dream that I befriended the bat and it lay in my lap while I scratched behind its ears. Yeah, I’m naïve.

I still haven’t done anything about the bat in my room. My handylady won’t help, but she said if I can’t find someone she’ll call an exterminator. I prefer to avoid death for either of us.

To be continued…