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Location: Midwest, United States

"Power lines, my travlin' partner on this ride. Dripping, pulling - up and down, in this sing song, their lullaby blends with the swaying train. I curl myself into this journey; folding myself up into this pocket of time. Old familiars greet me - that swing set in the back yard, the ruins of an old church covered in new birth and old - mixed with unremembered newness." Journal Entry, October 13, 2005~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~All words are copyrighted by GoGo on a Page/gogoroku.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

To Pull Off a Catholic School Girl Outfit for the 1st Day

Evening Quote: Life as a GoGo can be very challenging, especially when you have two left feet.

Its late and I am doing one of my overnight shifts at my job. Dear Job, please don't fire me for keeps me productive in the wee hours...seriously. My mind goes to Dooce ( and I wonder do I learn not from the dooces of others? Apparently not. Anywho, as I was saying its another one of those late nights on an overnight.

I like working into the wee hours. Its really a clean and sober version of getting drunk. My inhibitions and thought processes seem to decrease, except I am not wanting to get laid or drive or anything. Instead, my mind starts to go down alleys of thought I don't believe I would go if it wasn't for the loopy exhaustion tearing down some walls. For example, tonight I cannot stop thinking about what I am going to wear my first day back at class.

Sure I had a summer class already and have really gotten all I needed or wanted from High School insecurities and freshman (college) desperate need to impress. I mean, I think there is really nothing more I can gain from my own personal inadequacies or approval of others at this point in the game. So why focus so much on first day impressions when a pair of jeans and a top should suffice? With that said, I seem to be very eager about what I am going to wear my first day of class. I want to do something off beat, yet sophisticated. Something that will possibly age fuck with people, if not gender screw at the same time, right. Then it hit me in this early hours. I will find myself a little blue and white plaid skirt and a white blouse with tie, knee high socks, and some maryjanes. How cute would that be?

I figure the gender blending could come in with my butch personality. I know this is a factor because on Friday I had an interview for this very overnight position that I have taken on until they hire someone (which I hope is me). Anyway, I decided to wear this new skirt I got from a friend. Its ankle length and segregated into three layers of denim and black. A poor description but a wonderful skirt. I had worn it to a orientation I had for the fall before the interview and another lesbian butch friend looked at me crazy like, saying to me in nonverbals "You got to be kidding, your butch, what's up with the skirt?" I agree I am butch, but I personally think a butch who can pull off a skirt is more sexy then a femme just wearing the same old thing. In fact, I think its so sexy, the next time someone asks me what is my favorite type of girl, I am going to answer a butch in a skirt...

These ramblings are close to delirious. I don't know if I am going to try and pull off the catholic school girl uniform, especially now that I think more about it, I don't have the right glasses to do it right...the nerdy black rims. I don't feel anywhere close to a hot butch in a skirt, nor think I can obtain tht status. I am simply tired, and for a brief moment, I quite enjoyed my first day of school, butch in a skirt motif running through my head.



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